learning to love your limitations as much as your strengths
quote from tracee ellis ross copied in my sketchbook for safe keeping
July 3, 2020
Lately, I’ve been learning a lot about self acceptance within myself. These thoughts came to me as I was reading Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project as she talks about accepting your limitations in part of chapter 5. As the days are longer this time of year and the sun is shining brighter, I feel the constant need to get up and go. I spent the month of June running through all the things I want to do with my life and I had trouble sitting still because I was so eager to get up and accomplish things. What this lead to was me not being fully present because I was so caught up in all the things I wanted to do that I lost track of what I could do now.
It wasn’t until I read that particular section of The Happiness Project that I started to think about why I was so anxious to keep moving. “And yes it can be sad, while being busy and running out and fulfilling all things on my dreams/desires list I am not just accepting myself as is and letting me be me as is. I’m pushing myself. And yet if I don’t push myself I find I can be dissatisfied with things about me and my life. I figure there is a time for both pursuing and accepting.” Although this section within the book was actually just from a comment on her blog, this part really got to me, I probably read it about 10 times. That it’s okey to find time for both chasing dreams and accepting reality was a really comforting thought for me as I sit in a season of acceptance right now.
From this, I’ve been thinking about ways to stay more present within myself during this time. Instead of making daily to do lists and putting so much pressure on myself, I’ve been starting with weekly to do lists so that I have more time to get things done. This makes me feel less bad if I spend a day with my family or relaxing and helps me remember that this time is just as valuable and just as necessary. Part of this is being able to accept that you can’t do everything you want to every day. Some things take time to manifest themselves, and worrying only stops you from living and experiencing your life as it is now. It’s easy to jump ahead to the future and constantly think about what you could be doing a year or two from now. But without taking the necessary steps that you need to right now, you won’t be able to get there.
For me this was difficult to see at first as I constantly want to keep growing and learning and meeting people. But there is a certain point where you need to stop and accept that things are the way they should be for this moment. You are exactly where you need to be right now and exactly who you need to be right now. Accepting your limitations means it’s okey to be where I am, it’s okey to stop and relax and understand that I can’t be everyone. I can’t be every where and I can’t extend myself beyond what I see in front of me. I can constantly strive to be and do better in the present moment, however I can’t make my life into someone else’s. Part of what Gretchen Rubin talks about in that chapter is wanting to like what other people like (like hobbies and interests). She talks about how cool it seems to listen to classical music and have a chic wardrobe, yet she doesn’t actually enjoy any of those things and they wouldn’t make her any more happy. This acceptance of your true likes and dislikes is important to your actual happiness because if you are constantly striving to like things because the people around you like them, you won’t ever really find happiness.
So with this, I am coming to accept my limitations and that I don’t have to strive to be the people I admire, it’s okey to accept the place that I’m at and love the things that surround me now. The things that I don’t like are as much a part of me as the things I like and the same goes for the things I will do and not do. The acceptance that you are just who you need to be really gives you the space to grow from where you are now, instead of only ever looking at the large distance between who you are and who you are striving to be. Start where you are and let the rest go.
Take care till next time,
Hanna